How did I get Here?

Monday, August 15, 2005

The Summer is slipping away fast.

sitting at my desk at work taking a break from resolving data errors on the computer system . (I'm having a ton of fun!!!) I'm developing a headache along with the addictive need to run away from this place and Scream!!!!! My only solace is that my work day will be over within the next few hours. Some would say "oh stop complaining, at least you have job!" Now what do you call a job where there is no passion or desire? I call it pure torturous boredom. Somedays I get up in the morning and ask myself, How in the hell did I end up in the rat race in New Jersey with a mortgage, wife, kids, 2 cars and a dog!! Is this what they call "The American Dream". Well right now I only dream of hitting the lottery and relaxing on a pristine beach somwhere in the carribbean. I can't believe the summer is coming to end soon and I didn't even get the chance to really let my hair down like I wanted to. Although were taking a vacation to Disney World this Summer, I really wanted to do pull out all the stops and spontaneously travel to several places I've never visited. I want to rekindlle that fire and enthusiasm for life and freedom that has somehow slipped away for the moment. God, please let me hit the lottery today!!

Monday, April 04, 2005

39 but feeling 20 Something

Today is my 39th Birthday. As is lie in bed I wonder where has the time gone. I can remember my first day in school. I can recall sitting on the bus and stretching my neck to look out the window. I even remember that my class had sliced peaches for dessert that day. Although I'm married now in pretty good shape with 3 kids, a minivan, a luxury car, a mortgage and a dog, I don't feel 39. If there is a specific feeling for 39 I wouldn't know what it is anyway. I thought I would have a nice quiet day at home to contemplate and meditate on what being 39 means to me but those plans are gone, now that my 5 year old daughter walks into my bedroom to proclaim that Spring Break from school starts today. She looks at me and says " Happy Birthday Daddy"!! and politely says "How old are you"? I respond in a quiet kind of way "I'm 39"... she ponders for a moment and says" You 'll be 40 next year Daddy and that means your getting old". Well, who needs meditation and contemplation anyway when you've got a 5 year old little girl to put it all in perspective for you.